Beachcomber

Beachcomber
1 Forks Market Rd
Tel: (204) 948-0020

May, 2010



The Forks sits proudly at the confluence of Winnipeg’s Red and Assiniboine Rivers, as one of the city’s tourist hubs. After some outdoor activities in the summer heat, nothing feels better than to sit in a breezy shade, by the riverfront, before a cold mug of beer or a slushy cocktail. Beachcomber Restaurant-Patio-Bar boasts one of The Forks’s most popular patios and relaxing hotspots. The lower patio overlooks the pier and has popular music playing; alas, Beachcomber doesn’t open the lower section unless the upper patio fills up, or on weekends. The upper patio has an obscured view of the water but provides a prime perching point for people-peeping—and I’ve peeped a lot of people as 10 minutes rolls by and no one notices my presence yet. After the server finally approaches, another seven minutes ticks by before my refreshment arrives. There’s no sign of the glass I ordered since I got here. If you would rather sit indoors, Beachcomber has an unremarkable dining room inside The Forks, or a bright and airy sunroom lounge.

On a hot day, you have an adequate choice of micro-beers from which to choose, as well as the mass-produced schlock. Beachcomber also offers an impressive selection of cocktails and martinis, most of which should quench your thirst. If you prefer wine, they have a moderate selection of wines by the glass or bottle.

While waiting for service, I have plenty of time to digest the menu options. Beachcomber follows the trend of serving “tapas,” although this may be the worst rendition of tapas I see in Winnipeg. Spaniards would spit at you if you serve chicken fingers or spring rolls as tapas. Come on! What’s wrong with just calling them appetisers?! The vegetarian spring rolls come with a delicate sweet sauce; unfortunately, the sauce is the best part of the “tapa.” Well-made, deep-fried foods do not taste greasy—they taste crispy, crunchy and light. These rolls taste heavy, soggy and dripping with fat. Sadly, this isn’t the worst aspect of the rolls. The undersides of the rolls look blacker than tar and tastes more burnt than ashes. Since the topsides of the rolls look properly cooked, the kitchen staff obviously buried the burnt side underneath to conceal this disaster. Do they really think that no one would notice? Or care? FAIL.

The meat section of the menu has few surprises and the seafood section looks pedestrian, except for the interesting looking paella. The limited pasta section tries to offer something that might reach the spectrum of likings: an Asian dish, an Italian dish, a seafood dish and a vegetarian dish. The hot angry pasta comes with chorizo sausage, chicken and cashews in a tomato cream sauce, over linguini noodles. As a chilli-head, I like my foods screaming hot if it’s claiming to be hot. This pasta is neither hot nor angry. The edge of spiciness intimidates none but the meekest of taste buds. Spiciness aside, the sauce has nice flavour and the chicken-sausage combination is a no-miss classic. The cashews add a nice facet of texture.

The spinach dip comes with colourful chips and little else. A good spinach dip has a generous amount of spinach, held together by just enough mayo; a melange of herbs and spices powers the flavours. Beachcomber’s dip skimps on the spinach, thus leaving the colour a pallid, sickly green, rather than a deep, vegetable green. The abundance of mayo blends with a rich cheese that oozes with fat. A layer of liquid grease sits atop the dip, waiting to coat your mouth. After the dish cools, the topping coagulates, leaving a lard-like film to encase the spinach. Lovely.

The seafood paella looks like a combination that cannot fail. How can you go wrong with a layer of clams and mussels covering a core of flavoured rice with shrimps, sausages and chicken? The rice itself soaks up the seafood flavours nicely; the chorizo provides depth and flavour and the chicken adds body and substance. Unfortunately, the pieces of chicken were too large to blend properly with the other ingredients. Chicken itself tastes fairly bland and small pieces have the opportunity to take on surrounding flavours. The seafood component ends up lost after biting through the sizable chicken but cutting the chicken further would solve this small issue. Beachcomber cooks the clams perfectly as they come juicy and tender. Because clams take longer to cook than mussels, this unfortunately means that the mussels are well overcooked, dried and shrivelled. Mussels should come into the dish well after clams and I suspect that all the shellfish took the dive at the same time. This main has oodles of potential to be a great dish—some simple adherence to cooking fundamentals would make this a wildly successful option. This of course elicits the question: why don’t you practise food cooking fundamentals?

For years, people sat on the patio of Branigan’s at this location. People came for the location knowing that the food was mediocre, that the service was poor, and that the ownership didn’t care. It seems to me that the only thing that changed is the name. Most of the menu features the same items that Branigan’s had, the service hasn’t improved and the ownership is the same. Come for the location and have a few drinks. If you must eat, you may find something that stands above the rest. I would move on after cocktails.

*½ /5


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